The Power of Nintendo Compels You

Church of Spirital Technology, this ain’t.

Yesterday was Easter across the world, and a Minneapolis-St. Paul metro-area church, The Crossing Church (What are they crossing? The street? Our T’s?), used a unique but effective tactic to get people in the door. They gave away multiple 3D TVs and Nintendo 3DS handhelds to their hopefully-future parishioners through random drawings, and the only way to be eligible was to attend Easter Sunday service. Over $8000 worth of prizes were given away.

Now, I’m not one to get into religious debates on a public site. Sure, the tactic could probably accurately be labeled as trite and superficial. At best, it would be highly successful marketing for Christ, though it still slightly feels like moneylenders on the temple steps. Here’s my rather significant problem with this:

Pastor Eric Dykstra is quoted as saying “I have no problem bribing people with… I’ll be crass here… crap in order to meet Christ.”

Crap?! CRAP?!

THE NINTENDO 3DS IS NOT CRAP, MISTER. 3D TVs, maybe. Copies of Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs 3D, sure. But the 3DS itself? I submit that you are no man of God, sir, if you cannot recognize a divine miracle when you see one.

Let’s get your priorities straight, Rev. Priority #1, the happiness and wellbeing of the human race. Priority #2, Nintendo products. Priority #3, religious undertakings.

I suppose priorities number 2 and 3 might be interchangeable if you were, like… clergy or something. But just keep in mind it’s a close race.

  • Andrew Allen

    Literally every part of this story offends me, as a gamer and a Christian. This is disgusting.

  • RurouniQ

    Then I have done my job correctly. +1 Internets to me.