Round Up

Image by Mordred19

Avast, Dear Reader,

I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of time soaring over the internet, like a fleet-footed fox of some kind, searching for delicate morsels of gaming hilarity/memorableness. Today it occurred me: why am I keeping these gems to myself? Why shouldn’t I give you the fruits of loins–I mean labors. From now on, every Friday is Round-Up Day!

This week, I’m going with a “Mass Effect” theme, mostly because I’m bitter they pushed ME3 to 2012. I’ll teach Bioware to cross me like that. They want to go all penis-tease with it? Fine. Let’s go screw up their games.

Hit the jump.



Wanna dance? Watch this!


When you say nothin’ at aaaaallll…


You know, I thought I felt some tension there.


…Sure, why not?




Tali, that’s just rude.






Tali, I’m not a lawyer!


I’m getting aroused.


Actually, I would love to get my hands on that character.



i want my corners

  • Don Jaime

    I dunno man. Hopefully it’s a “get this shit right” delay more than anything else. It’s kinda cool with me at the moment though because I’ve been sitting at a save file right after the IFF mission and I’m too pussified to see what happens next (which I may have to bust out tomorrow, thanks for the relative inspiration). I still have to play through ME1 again with a different character with different choices and, though it hurts to say it, I can wait. Hell, I sat on ME2 for six months without playing it and the wife got kinda miffed because that was a full price birthday present. But I digress.

    I’m pretty drunk right now too and most of these doctored clips seem outta place. Cept #4. Goddamn, that would be a powerful scene with the right culminating events leading up to it, considering both characters are such bitches to begin with. Too bad they left no room for plot between non-Shepard characters.

    I mean, that’s how you make good stories, right? Not just the main character has their own things going on but everyone else does too without the main character gettin all involved in that shit. And fuck, that’s what Shepard does no matter what path you take.

    But my Shepard’s a tanned, black lipstick wearing blonde ballbreaking assault demoness that don’t wanna run around on some crappy “all-terrain” p.o.s. that melts at the first sign of lava, nor is she some Star Trek: TGN probe launchin pansy ass. She wants to fuck shit up right, and I hope Bioware realizes this. May ME3 be beyond badass. Please!

  • Andrew Allen

    What a coincidence, I’ve had one or two myself.

    You know, in fairness, you’re right: it’s not like ME2 has a small amount of replay value. I can easily dig into that game one or two more times.

    You gotta admit: look at that Reaver-Shepard on the last video there. How SWEET is that? She can do the Reaver blast and everything! I want.

  • Don Jaime

    Yeah, there were definitely more than a few times where I’m like “you bastards better be glad I can’t do that cheap shit!” The Reaver-Shepard is a tad disturbing in appearance after being so used to seeing the human form for hours on end, but I could deal with that in exchange for wreaking havoc on anything that gets in my way.