E3 2011: Nintendo, and the Worst Game of the Show

Oh, Nintendo. I really don’t know what to think about your E3 presentation this year. On the one hand, I’m all a-tingle with the potential for the Wii-U and its amazing new controller, and can’t wait to see more. So, good job on that presentation. On the other hand, what the shit was the rest of your booth dedicated to?

The 3DS had a smattering of games about. The number of titles on the floor from 3rd party developers was pretty small, especially compared to last year’s DS offerings. You did have some good 1st party titles available, and for your sake, I hope its enough to keep us covered for the full year.

What I really want to talk about is the piss-poor showing for the Wii. There was barely anything there! Okay, okay, you’ve got a 4-player Kirby, that’s cool. A new Zelda is always good. And then, for the Japan-style gamer, you had a couple rhythm games and Money Street, but those are very, very niche markets.

It seems as though the Wii might be quickly left to die a painful death. And if the small number of games weren’t evidence of such a thing, this game may well have been the nail in the coffin:

So… we’ve got a point and click adventure? POINT AND CLICK?! In this generation of games, no system beyond a cell phone should have a point and click game on it. Make no mistake, the motion you see in the trailer isn’t the player controlling their character, that’s them clicking on a door and the computer guiding them there. In that location, they are given a grocery list of items and they have to click around on a single screen of a jumbled mess to find them.

So… basically, its like Highlights Magazine? Shouldn’t I be waiting in a dentist’s office while I’m playing something like this? Its like “My First Myst Game” !!

I appreciate the need for simple, streamlined gameplay, but guys, this is ridiculous. Lack of creative design strikes again, as the Wii and Kinect are bombarded with shovelware.


Trailers follow for Nintendo’s 3 good-looking releases for the year, almost stripped of merit by the crap above. Its gonna be a loooooong wait till December 2012.