GoldenEye 007: Reloaded Is A Mistake

 

Dear Reader,

It’s all well and good to sell those poor, starving Wii owners a retread of “Goldeneye;” that and “Conduit 2″ is pretty much all they’ve got. But what’s this I hear now about someone having the chutzpah to bring “Goldeneye 007: Reloaded” to the Xbox 360 and PS3? Is that some kind of joke? Maybe you don’t know where you are, Activision. They eat first person shooters for breakfast here. I mean, you publish “Call of Duty,” shouldn’t you know this better than anyone?

THIS DOES NOT LOOK FAMILIAR

And don’t tell me about nostalgia. You idiots changed the game so damned much that it isn’t the same experience anymore. I still don’t understand how you could be so stupid as to repaint all the buildings on memory lane then try to sell me a trip down it, but I digress. I admit, you made a smart move by upping the player count to 16, and yes, including PS Move support is an interesting play. But fundamentally, you’re still on a fool’s errand.

The only way this is a smart move is if you charge, like, nothing for this product. Seriously. I hope you’re not even considering putting it in a box and selling it inside of a building. That would be ridiculous. Put it on the interwebs, cover your eyes with one hand, and extend the other, palm up; just take whatever we give you. Charge some weird amount that’s always left over in my Xbox Live account like 320 points, and I’ll totally make this purchase. Other than that, keep your “GoldenEye” that stars Daniel Craig to yourself. Blegh.

–AA

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