Valet Parking 1989 Will Probably Make You Love Your Job



Ah, this game brings me back. This is the sort of innovative game we haven’t seen since… well, since 1989. A simulation game that speaks to the little guy, like one of my favorite 80s games, Paperboy. A game with hooks like TOTALLY RAD celebrities, a SUPER COOL story and ENDLESS PLAY. Oh boy! Because why play a game that can transport you out of your shitty life into an epic fantasy world when you can play a game that replicates someone else’s shitty life?

Enjoy the splendor that is Valet Parking 1989, and hit the jump for the super awkward developer’s diary, and some ideas for some other awesome potential simulations.

Not feeling quite uncomfortable enough? Lucky for you, there’s more!


I know there are plenty of simulation games that allow you to do grueling tasks like run a restaurant or a farm or (huzzah!) valet park people’s cars, but goddamnit, I want more. How about a simulation game for the guy who cleans up at the porn theater? Or an inner city coroner? Or the guy (or gal! let’s be fair!) who gets to inseminate zoo animals?

We can even give it a historical twist, like Valet Parking 1989 did so brilliantly. How about Gladiator Janitor, where you play the schmuck who has to clean up all of the guts in the Colosseum? Or Invaders! where you play one of the many villagers helplessly maimed/robbed/raped by classic thugs like the Mongols?

Not that I’ve checked to see if those games exist. Maybe they do. And if not, hopefully developers like Zordix will step up and give an interactive voice to all those people with jobs much shittier than mine.


Valet Parking 1989 is developed by Zordix AB and is available on Nintendo DSiWare.

  • Mark Ross

    You know, at first I thought this was a joke. Then I confirmed that the game actually exists and I died a little inside.

  • Dustin Hall

    Is that model by the title screen to this game supposed to be Susan Lucci? Because that looks a lot like Susan Lucci.