Free Ideas: A Whole New Heist


Here you go, Games Industry. Here’s a free idea. YOU’RE WELCOME.

Over the weekend, a group of professional thieves “liberated” a shipment in France using timed automobile collision, knives and tear gas. The cargo? Reportedly, 6000 copies of Modern Warfare 3, estimated as having a total value of over €400,000.

What a world, huh? PROFESSIONAL THIEVES stealing a VIDEO GAME. I don’t know about you, but to me, this says that games, as a cultural fixture, are more mainstream than ever. And what better way to celebrate that position, than by creating new culture based around it?

Earlier in the year, the PC and PS3 saw a new game by SOE called Payday: The Heist, which released to average reviews. It’s essentially a game which allows a 4-player team, a-la Left 4 Dead, to perform various professional heists, the kind of which you’d see in Point Blank and Heat. Although there is a level where you liberate a prisoner from a prisoner transfer truck on the road, Payday could do with some DLC, in celebration of this recent event. How about it, SOE? Let’s add a level where you can hijack a truck shipment of games. I’d buy that, wouldn’t you? Running the truck off the road, taking out the drivers, getting the shipment off the truck, evading the pursuing cop cars and helicopters, loose unsecured copies flying out the back of the van, littering the road as we scream down at top speed, evading oncoming traffic… That’s the stuff of legends right there. Hell, it doesn’t have to be part of Payday, you could probably do a whole Need for Speed based on this.

Hell, Hollywood, you can take this idea too if you want. A movie about a video game heist would be très tits. (That’s très as in French for “very”, not as in Spanish for “three”. Although three tits would also be très tits, now that I think about it.) Wrap the idea in some other shit, like a conspiracy involving the Catholic church or some huge freakin’ diamond or the main character’s clone brother… something like that. That’s what you love to do, right? Throw in some explosions and a snarky black sidekick and you’ve got box office gold.

(By the way, I’m totally serious when I say this is a free idea. Neither nor myself hold any claim to this idea. Please use it. Mention the site in the credits somewhere and we’ll call it even.)