Own a Piece of World of Warcraft

Own a piece of World of Warcraft

Become the ultimate nerd

Capcom Hints at Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 DLC???

Capcom Accidentally Leaks UMvC3 DLC?

Gamers Hope Against Hope That It's True

Forza’s Race Rewinding Is the New Regenerating Health

Forza's Race Rewinding

The Future of Racing


Disgaea on Your Phone Means Extra Long Bathroom Breaks


YARRRR! Nippon Ichi be declarin’ war on yer free time this fall as they release a wee version of Disgaea for yer smartphones!

What? It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, get over it.

I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am for this. The major problem I have with huge tactical RPGs like Disgaea is that they take up so much of my gaming time… but if I can take all my shitter time and put that towards tacticizing, then that’s a win for everyone.

Disgaea: Netherworld Unbound is set to release for Android this fall (sorry, iUsers), and will feature the original full game, somewhat streamlined for the system, and adding microtransaction features to purchase characters, items, and more. So be prepared to be spendin’ extra time swabbin’ yer poop deck, mateys! YARRRRRR!

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Netflix Can Haz Video Games, Kind Of

Dear Reader,

As you no doubt heard, Netflix is bifurcating its services into a streaming division (which will continue to be known as Netflix), and the DVD-by-mail operation, which will now be called Qwikster. More interestingly for us gamers, Qwikster will now offer game rentals, a service Netflix customers have been chomping at the bit for for some time. This is not good news, though, and I can prove it in two ways.

Have sex and make a baby, damn you!

Hit the jump, and I’ll learn you so hard.

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The New Port Authority

The Game Show – September 14th, 2011: The New Port Authority

Tokyo Game Show!  Nintendo’s Press Conference and Sony’s Press Conference have happened.  Who is the reigning port authority?

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Portal is free (again) until September 20th



In their continuing effort to prove that their the best damn game company in the business, Valve has decided to give out (once again) the original Portal for free.  If you haven’t played it yet, what the hell is wrong with you?

Excuse me.  What I meant is you should pick up one of the most meme-filled games ever, and start working towards your cake.  You can pick up the game on Steam, but you must do so before September 20th, which is when everyone will disappear to the 360 for a little something called Gears of War 3.


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Dr. Noh Chimes in on Ports and Remakes

You have a dirty mind...

Remakes and ports seems to be in high gear these days. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Starfox 64, Halo: Combat Evolved, Cave Story, Metal Gear Solid 1-3, Shadow of the Colossus, Ico, Final Fantasy X, Beyond Good and Evil, and Goldeneye are just a handful I can think of off the top of my head. Is the gaming industry out of original ideas? Are they just trying to cash in on nostalgia? Perhaps this is true in some cases, but for me I tend to enjoy a good remake or a solid port every now and then. Let me tell you why…

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First Max Payne 3 Trailer

Dear Reader,

The flow of information on “Max Payne 3″ just keeps coming. Now we have our first trailer, courtesy of the good folks at Rockstar. I think it looks pretty good, although it’s pretty much what I was expecting after the images they’ve been releasing. What say you?


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Capcom Knows How to Make a Damn Trailer

I could watch this shit all day. Capcom keeps dropping more and more info about Street Fighter X Tekken, and while it’s no secret that I despise Tekken with a passion unrelenting borne of the 11th layer of Hell (What makes you think there are only 9 levels? If any locale is inherently ‘turning it up to 11′, it’s Hell), I cannot help but get more and more excited with each information drip that comes through the CapcomUnity IV.

Capcom seems to be making this more and more into a top-tier title for them, considering the amount of work going into it. Overall, it seems as though gameplay will be somewhere between Street Figher IV and Marvel vs. Capcom 3, both in terms of speed and features. Not only does it seem to be quite combo-heavy, even relying on switching characters mid-combo just like MvC, it will have something similar to X-Factor called Pandora Mode. On the other hand, it seems to also contain more fighter vs. fighter strategy than MvC. Extremely intriguing. Throw into the mix the fact that you can now accept challenges when you are training, even while training cooperatively, and you have a very strong case for Capcom putting a lot of love into this game.

More features and gameplay mechanics video after the break.

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The Room Tribute


Oh hai, reader! I didn’t know it was you.

You know what’s great? Tommy Wiseau’s amazingly campy movie The Room. You know what’s even better? The incredibly campy game The Room Tribute!

You haven’t heard of The Room, you say? Well, you’ve been missing out. It’s L.A.’s favorite  “midnight movie” cult classic, filling theaters once a month with rowdy fans (actual celebrities and comedians included) who throw spoons and footballs and yell callback lines in unison. It’s the dramatic version of Rocky Horror Picture Show, except without any of the awesome songs, and much worse writing. It’s so bad that it’s one of the best worst movies ever.

So you’ve seen the movie and experienced the joy of sitting in a theater with a bunch of people throwing spoons at the screen, or have sat in the comfort of your own living room playing it with RiffTrax, and you want more. You don’t just want to watch the movie. You want to LIVE IT.

I don’t blame you. And lucky for you, your friends over at Newgrounds have you covered. So leave your stupid comments in your pocket and hit the jump.

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Talking To Games: Borderlands 2

Dear Reader,

Yes, it’s that time again. Time for me to sit down and have a nice, amiable chat with a video game. I often feel the need to talk with games that aren’t yet released, and never is that more true than with “Borderlands 2,” the recently-confirmed sequel to Gearbox’s hit RPG/shooter.

Must go faster...must go faster...

For those of you who don’t know, this segment is exactly what it sounds like: I talk to games. And they talk back, that’s the crazy part. I’m like The Game Whisperer. Hit the jump, fool.

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Crysis Coming to XBLA/PSN

Dear Reader,

For you “Crysis” fans out there, and I admit I’ve recently joined your ranks, there’s somewhat exciting news: Crytek’s original litmus test for your PC hardware is making its way to DLC this October. That’s the good news. The bad news is, it kind of sounds like they’re going to have to nerf the game to squeeze it onto the console digital space.

The press release says this downloadable version of the campaign will be “modified” and “enhanced,” and it’s worth noting that it doesn’t just say “enhanced.” It then goes on to claim that there’s going to be “all new” lighting, as well as other “visual optimizations.” Notice none of these actually mean “improved.” They say they’re going to “optimize,” that things are going to be “new,” but not “superior to the former version.” It sounds to me like a very cryptic way of saying, “We had to strip mine this thing to fit in onto Xbox Live.”

But hell, maybe I’m being picky. You’re gonna have “Crysis” for 20 bucks, that’s not a bad deal at all.


you’ve barely touched your banana ka-boom

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Resistance 3: Successor to Half Life 2?

Dear Reader,

Well…damn it. I just keep being wrong, don’t I? First I hastily dismissed “Deus Ex: Human Revolution” at E3 this year, and then it came back around and backhanded me in front of everyone. Now another title I callously waved away, “Resistance 3,” is proving to be one of the best shooters of the year, and easily the best on the PS3. Seriously, I’ve been up until 6 am every morning playing this thing.

I’m going to make an infuriating claim here: “Resistance 3″ is the successor to “Half Life 2,” and not far from its equal in quality of gameplay design. Now put down your pitchforks, hit the jump, and let me back that up.

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BloodRayne: Betrayal

Wow, this game is pretty good.  If you loved Mega Man 9 and other retro games, you really have to give it a try.  Besides the graphics, this game could easily hail from the 16 bit era and before.  Difficulty is up there, but nothing you haven’t experienced before if you’ve been gaming since before the PSX.  I like.  You should play.

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The Game Show – Dogs and Cats Living Together…

The Game Show – August 31st, 2011: Port Authority

Mass hysteria!

For once, Joe seems bothered by Nintendo’s latest actions (specifically, the just-announced 3DS second thumbstick cradle), and Q embraces it. Up is down, black is white, short is long. EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS WRONG.

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Also, check out our video recording with slightly better audio but no background music at:

The Game Show – Live Recording 9/7/11 Part 1
The Game Show – Live Recording 9/7/11 Part 2

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Rage’s surprisingly calm PC specs



id Software and I have a somewhat strained relationship.  You see, growing up I was obsessed with the classic PC staples Doom, Doom 2, and Wolfenstein 3D.  This love continued with the release of Return to Castle Wolfenstein.  Then it happened.  Doom 3.

I’m sorry, but talk about a letdown.  Lame weapons, repetitive enemies (oh great, another Imp), and a short and unsatisfying campaign all combined to a fully underwhelming experience.  It was akin to eating the reheated left-overs of the greatest meal you remember eating ten years ago.  Since that disappointment, all that id has directly created only a handful of mobile and online offerings (they have acted as producer / publisher for their other properties, including Quake 4 or the 2009 Wolfenstein).

So, is there any hope for Rage in this jaded gamer’s eyes?

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Go Play The Assassin’s Creed Beta!

Dear Reader,

You’re wasting your life. Seriously, precious hours of the day are draining away, and you’re not playing the “Assassin’s Creed: Revelations” multiplayer beta. It’s only going to be available for three more days, damn it! Rectify that shiznit. What’s that, you say? You say you’re not a Playstation Plus member? Of course you’re not. If you were, you’d be in a Somali prison right now, because Taiwanese hackers would have already made their way past Sony’s pathetic online security and sold your identity to international terrorists.

But there’s good news: you don’t need to poop in a hole in the ground in East Africa to play “Revelations” anymore. The beta went so well that Ubisoft and Sony are opening it up to all PSN members. But act fast, people, because as I mentioned, you’ve only got until this Sunday to gorge yourself.


i can only express surprise bordering on alarm 

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Max Payne 3 Release Date Set, Mobile Version Promised

Dear Reader,

“Max Payne 3″ is finally getting a little clearer in front of us. After years of speculation and rumor, Rockstar announced today that the title will hit shelves in March 2012. Of course, the fact that they don’t set a specific day means this is dubious at best. Take it with a grain of salt, people.

Also, as if under their breath while coughing, Rockstar also announced that the original “Max Payne” will endure a port to “mobile devices.” I don’t know what that means or how that’s possible, but it strikes me as a bad idea. I’m sure an iPhone could handle the graphical output of the original MP, but playing it correctly requires too many inputs for a touch-screen to effectively handle. I have a feeling we’re not going to like what’s coming.


not of this world


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Dr. Noh Chimes in on Recent Nintendo Rumblings



The leaked information of the slide pad attachment for the 3DS is making video game fans across the internet cry foul upon Nintendo. The current thought is that because the release of this addition is coming, there will inevitably soon be a redesign of the 3DS with the second slide pad built in, a 3DS Lite if you will. With the recent price drop of the 3DS and the recently leaked slide pad information, the result is the belief that Nintendo does not have confidence in their hardware.

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Painfully Accurate Infograph Bashes Wii U

Dear Reader,

Dear Lord in Heaven, please tell me that Dr. Noh isn’t watching this right now. An associate of mine came upon this exhaustive, fascinating and just slightly cruel infographic about the evolution of video game controllers, and where the Wii U fits into that storied family tree (you can see the original link here). Of course, I must needs deduct two bajillion cool points from whomever made this for neglecting the “Steel Battalion” controller. But perhaps they were right. “Controller” is too small, too condescending a term to encapsulate your interaction with SB. It was more of an…apparatus.


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Bite-Sized Indie: Every Day The Same Dream


I came across this simple Flash game during last week’s internet wanderings. It was part of the Neoludica exhibition. I don’t know whether or not Italians actually do it better, but this game is pretty neat.

Produced in six days for the Experimental Gameplay Project by Molleindustria, this little indie is a short, existential commentary on alienation and the mundane. It’s also a pretty sweet interactive music video.

Your routine is to get up, get dressed, go to work, and sit at your cubical – wash, rinse, repeat – and the fun of the game comes from the discovery of the various rebellions that break that mold and build to the somewhat chilling conclusion of the game.  It’s a bleak, lonely story, broken up by a few moments of beauty (I won’t ruin it, but the bit with the cow was wonderful, as it’s the only real interaction the character has with anyone).

Every Day the Same Dream

Enjoy, dear readers, and check out Molleindustria’s other games. I can’t speak to their quality but some of them look, er… interesting…

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Deus Ex: What To Fix For The Sequel

Dear Reader,

Let there be zero confusion about one simple fact: “Deus Ex: Human Revolution” is one of the best games of the year. Some dude from Bungie once said that the art of game design is nailing five seconds of fun, then repeating it over and over. DE found its five seconds, and then some. Still, I do think there are a few flaws that keep the game from the kind of classic status I would afford “Mass Effect 2.” It’s nothing to sweat about, Square Enix, the original ME wasn’t a classic either. You guys got a hit here, but next time let’s have a home run.

I think if you fix the following simple but important issues, you’ll have a classic on your hands whenever you drop the next one on us. Hit the jump!

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